Occupational Euphemisms, Ego Dissolvers, and an Hourly Wage

I am finally hired. In the food industry-- a part of it I never before considered, although making coffee is obviously a better fit for me than waitressing or bartending. You’re reading the blog of a new, full-time barista. It has a sexy ring to it, don’t ya think? I’m glad the title "barista" has entered the mainstream, so I have a hip title. I much prefer it to coffee girl.

The position opened up because Johnny (adorable and sweet as can be) has been promoted to lead bartender at the newly renamed Liquor Box (the Drake’s Passage bar, which the boyf’s good friends happen to own. Everyone is connected down here.). Therefore, his full-time barista position at R&J's Island Latte is available. I didn’t consider this option when I first saw it advertised, since I have never before made coffee drinks. But I need a job. Any job. Staying unemployed will drive me to depression.

Thanks to a gentle kick-in-the-ass pep talk from Mom last Tuesday night, I entered Wednesday determined to be employed week's end. I was getting very close to selling jewelry, which I didn't want to do. If I know anything, it's that I'm not a salesperson, even though I come from a line of them. Like I've said before, wiping asses sounds like more fun to me.

We decided to eat at RJ's for lunch on Wednesday. We entered, and a pretty, light-skinned black lady greeted my mom warmly by name. Mom informed me that she is one of they owners and told me for the tenth time that they are very nice. It occured to me for the first time that I might enjoy working here, and we decided to inquire about Johnny's newly open position.

We find out that it has not been filled, but I need a health card before she will interview me. In order to work in the food industry in the USVI, one must have a valid Health ID or Food Handler’s card. In order to acquire said card, a stool sample must be tested to ensure one doesn't have worms. I ask if it takes a long time to get the card and find out that if I’m fast, I can probably get it within the next twenty-four hours.

“It all just depends on your body,” she says smiling, and gesturing with her hands in a downward motion showing the route that food leaves your body as waste.

“I like this woman,” I think to myself.

So, I embark on an adventure that includes a trip to the communitiy clinic at the hospital, meeting a half-mad woman who nonetheless shows me where the privately-owned labratory is located, obtaining a sample jar, and scooping a sample of my poo from the toilet with the serrated spoon attached to the jar lid. The next day, I'm relieved to discover that my poo is ova and parasite free. The people at the hospital give me a card, even though I couldn’t tell the lady my street number. (Mom keeps telling me it doesn’t matter!) 

After an easy and painless interview, I am hired. My normal hours will be 6:45am to 3:15pm, the earliest I’ve ever worked. I figure it will keep me healthy. I can’t go out late if I have to rise around 5am. The job only pays $10/hr, a sum of which I’m almost embarrassed to mention, except for the fact that I'm trying to dissolve the ole ego. And the tips aren’t nearly what they’d be if I bartended or waitressed. I could  also make more selling jewelry...

Unfortunately for me, I wasn't born with the greedy gene, allowing me to work jobs that I dislike because they pay well...I usually have to do something I find palatable, which generally doesn't include asking for people's money...

I’m thinking that the barista job will be virtually stress free.  My head won’t spin all night with work shit, and the anxiety won’t cause me to drag my feet  in the morning. This means I can spend more energy doing what I love, which is to write.

I will probably have to get a 2nd gig. And I have some options. But the whole thing is a pride-swallower, since I’ll be earning half what I did in MN, and will also have no benefits and no 401K.

But then I remind myself that this is an adventure. I am young. And learning to live simply is valuable-- thinking of abundance in a way that has more to do with small daily joys instead of purchasing power.

Plus, they're training me to make all sorts of cool coffee drinks. So, I am learning a new trade. Now, there's a better word for that...we'll call it a craft.